20 somethings guide to finally being on your own

Listening now…

 

I’m writing this post because as humans, we have to laugh at ourselves.

I lived with my mom until this year, at 27, when we just bought our house.

Don’t get me wrong- while I lived at home all this time, I helped my mom out with chores, rent, etc. I was always taught and raised in such a way that if you were to live at home- you were also to help out, always be working and/ or in school, and to earn your keep.

But there are still learning curves even after seeing your mom do things around the house for your whole life.

 

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#LOL

 

 

This is a list of actual things I did that I had to laugh about after.

I’m hoping someone can learn from my funny moments.

 

Pasta

 

1.) When making pasta with pre-made sauce, simply putting the cold sauce in after the pasta is cooked is not enough to make a warm dinner. Also, simply mincing (yes I actually know what that means!) up garlic and throwing it into said pasta won’t be enough to spruce it up and may result in chewing on garlic.

 

Clothesline

 

2.) When bringing in clothes from the clothesline, don’t walk down the clothesline, instead of bringing it to you….like the clothesline is intended to do.

 

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Curtains are the devil

 

3.) Shopping for curtains will be the most stressful thing. Ever. Be prepared for that. More stressful than dishing out thousands of dollars for a down payment, than saying goodbye to your family and dogs, and the normal stressors of buying a house or being on your own.

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For me, this meant 3 trips to the store, after repeatedly buying the wrong sizing. Once I finally bought the proper size/length, I didn’t buy enough of them, which resulted in having to order more off of Amazon, and then when they arrive….. the top of them are not the same as the others, which have holes on the top… sigh.

Also… changing out the curtain rod in our bedroom today we managed to drop the biggest one right. onto. our. plant. He was literally decapitated… he is now soaking in a vase of water and I’m hoping he survives the curtain mayhem.

 

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Plants

 

4.) Speaking of plants….why is one of my majesty palms dying, while the other chooses to live?

 

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I re-potted one of them in with soil meant for cactus and palms and since then, he has been declining.

Side note- buying a plant you love in the store before doing any research on it at all is probably not the best idea. This article tells me I may not be the only one having trouble!

 

Compromise?

 

5.) Going to the flea market with your boyfriend will not prevent him from bringing home horse paintings. Be prepared for that.

When living together, compromise is vital. Also, thank God we have a garage where this horsey will live.

 

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Your new hobbies

 

6.) The things you used to make fun of your mom for back in the day….you will now do and love. Embrace your new home hobbies.

My mom used to have this CD in her car that played bird sounds and then after they played the sound, the woman’s very calming voice would say something like, “that is the sound of a morning dove.” I used to think it was so funny that my mom listened to bird sounds in her car instead of music.

Now… one of the first things I did when we moved in was find a bird feeder hanging on the tree near our house and fill it up. I love watching the birds in the morning and snapping shots of them, as well as seeing new birds and hearing their sounds.

 

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Do you have any funny stories about being on your own for the first time?

Share with me! 

 

 

 

 

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Currently in April

Listening now…

 

Hard to believe it is already April. It snowed yesterday, some rain and ice mix, but overall next week the weather is looking up, yay!

 

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Currently listening to…

Thanks sis for letting me know she had a new album. My favorite songs on the album, “The Bones” (above!), “Great ones,” “A song for everything,” and “To hell and back.” But they are all great and oh so perfect for listening with your windows down in the car when the spring weather arrives! 🙂

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A few reasons I love the song “The bones” so much…

We’re in the homestretch of the hard times
We took a hard left, but we’re alright
Yeah, life sure can try to put love through it, but
We built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it
When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good

Frankie and I have been together a long time. It will be 10 years this December! We started dating when I was 18 (now 27) and he was 21 (now 30)

We just bought a house and it talks about the bones of a house (symbolic of their love) being so good, it won’t crack, even when life tries to test it.

This song is a reminder that when the foundation of your love and friendship is there, yes life gets hard, but it will work the way it’s meant to, as long as you both work at it.

Also listening to…

Podcasts.

I don’t think I talked about this in my blog yet. Mostly because…. my blog has been slacking for some time. I may have mentioned that I got into listening to audiobooks recently, which I still love, but I’m not sure why it took me so long to get into podcasts!

I love podcasts about real life mysteries and murders.

Right now, I’m listening to “Cold.

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It’s a true life murder story of Susan Powell, who goes missing, and the main suspect is her very strange husband Josh Powell. I’m only on episode 6 so tbd how this turns out, but I suspect Josh is bipolar, as he frequently made binge purchases and seems to be experiencing episodes of mania at times. Josh was an extremely controlling husband and Susan even warned her co workers that if something happened to her, to “look to Josh first.”

The thing I love about this podcast is the real life clips of their actual voices, like when Susan was instructed by her lawyer to videotape her assets in their house. You can actually see the video here. She just sounds so defeated in the recording, and makes a statement of “Hope everything works out and we’re all happy and live happily ever after…as much as that’s possible.”

It’s just a very binge worthy podcast, highly recommend.

Side note: some of my other fave podcasts recently: Dr. Death, Dirty John, and Believed.

Podcasts and audiobooks are an awesome way to get through cleaning your house and chores!

Currently doing…

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House stuff. And having so much fun doing it!

I love being a homeowner and watching it grow with us. One of my favorite things about our house is we live across from a campground that has a lake so we hear a lot of geese in the early mornings (and throughout the day) and the peepers and crickets at night are amazing. So loud! Last night it was icy out and I still heard them in the distance.

We also get amazing birds and other wildlife! Yesterday I saw an entire family of Robins searching for worms after the rain for their babies.

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We also get some amazing sunrise and sunsets. Here you can see the lake across the way too!

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Some updates…

We painted our bedroom a light very calming Sage color.

It took us so long to pick a color but I’m so glad we took our time!

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#Ihatetheseblinds but they are temporary…

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We ordered a couch and a table, but they won’t be here for 6-8 weeks.

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We ordered this really pretty Kincaid Farmhouse table with 2 benches. It also extends to be much longer if you need it.

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We ordered this La-Z-Boy grey sofa. It’s so comfy and can go with anything!

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Frankie’s mama has been gracious enough to lend us her couch while we wait! We’ll need to look into a coffee table too, but for now, we have Frankie’s.

I found lights in the garden shed, never opened,  (I love free) and hung them in the kitchen and outside. 

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#Palmtree #WoodyGuthrielyrics

Little things…

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Thank you mama for the curtains. I love lace!

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This is actually an apron I loved that I put in a shadow box #Catskills #Hudsonvalley #UpstateNY #Myhome #Mountainlife Made by Beatrice Berg

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See this table behind my wine glass? I found that on the side of the road!

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I found this glass pitcher at a flea market today. #Anotherpalm #Yeswehavetwo

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That sand in there is from our Greece trip

Currently watching…

I haven’t had a lot of time lately to watch shows, but when I do, these are my favorites right now.

Just started- The OA: Part 2

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I can’t tell you a lot because I just started but I did love season 1!

Northern Rescue

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This show is actually pretty cheesy but I can’t get enough of it.

After his wife dies, search and rescue commander John West uproots his three children, moving the family from Boston to his rural hometown of Turtle Island Bay. The death affects each of their lives as John and his kids cope with their loss. Along the way, John faces situations that challenge him personally and professionally while his offspring deal with typical issues that face kids and teenagers, including school and friendships.

A lot of the reason I like this show is because they live in an aquarium and there’s a penguin that just happened to still be there named Tux.

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What have you been currently loving this April? 

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Renny’s bed moves on the daily…by him.

 

Welcome Home

Listening now…

 

You have to listen to this adorable cover of Home.

 

I am here to report that we BOUGHT A HOUSE!

This has been a long time coming and if you follow me for awhile, you may have seen our house hunting horrors.  That post was more for fun, but really we did also have a lot of adventures along the way.

There were also house hunting heartbreaks and oh so many life lessons. As I sit here writing this and watch Renfield sleeping on his bed soundly in our living room, listening to John Denver on our Alexa (YAY I FINALLY HAVE FAST WIFI!) and listening to the wind outside, I realize it was all worth it.

It has a porch with a wraparound deck I am in love with, a pool, 6.7 acres, a garage with a pellet stove, built in bar and pool table, and even a heated dog house with a fenced area I can’t wait to fill with animals.

 

 

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fridge

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Thanks to Etsy for my free awesome lamp. ❤

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I want to thank Mountainmama for her support always and for her visit today. Thanks for putting up with me for 27 years and teaching me your ways when it comes to making a home! ❤

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Thanks mommy for the card. Our favorite movie… ❤

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More to come on this journey….

 

 

Love and some verses

Listening now…

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

My first blog on Tumblr (and first blog ever) was called Love and some verses, named after the infamous Iron and Wine album. I still love this band so very much and listen to them just to calm myself down. They just have that effect on me and their lyrics give me goosebumps.

 

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Love is a dress that you made

Long to hide your knees

Love to say this to your face

I love you only

For your days and excitement

What will you keep for to wear?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

Love and some verses you hear

Say what you can say

Love to say this in your ear

I’ll love you that way

From your changing contentment

What will you choose for to share?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

 
 

I never kept up with it, of course, but I still loved the name and think about it from time to time.

Thinking about that little blog tonight, I got inspired to write.

To be honest with you readers, I have not been very inspired to blog lately.

I’m not sure why that is…but when I am not feeling it, I’m just not going to force it. Those posts always come off as insincere and scripted to me. I write from the heart- always have and always will.

 

 

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to share love and some verses with you all in this post.

I wrote about the book Carrie read in the Sex and the City movie “Love letters of Great men” in my Valentine post.  (Honestly this post makes me cringe and I need to fix it because this was clearly before I learned the important of centering text…)

I will be sharing some of these verses of love with you from this book.

 

Love and some verses…

 

” I love you. That is all I know. But all I know, too, is that I am writing into space: the kind of dreadful, unknown space I am just going to enter. I am going to Iowa, Illinois, Idaho, Indindiana, but these, though mis-spelt, *are* on the map. You are not. ”

-Dylan Thomas

 

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I am restless; and a man’s restlessness always means a woman; and my restlessness means Ellen. ”

 

-Unknown

 

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“ Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you.  How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been!  How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm.  But I cannot.  I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.”

 

                                                         

-Unknown

 
 
 

 

December 1795

” I awake full of you. Your image and the intoxication of last night give my senses no rest.

Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart. Are you angry? Do I see you sad? Are you worried? My soul breaks with grief, and there is no rest for your lover; but how much the more when I yield to this passion that rules me and drink a burning flame from your lips and your heart? Oh! This night has shown me that your portrait is not you!

You leave at midday; in three hours I shall see you.

Meanwhile, my sweet love, a thousand kisses; but do not give me any, for they set my blood on fire. “

-Napoleon

 

 

” …I am at Port Maurice, near Ognelia; tomorrow I reach Albenga. The two armies are moving, trying to outwit each other. Victory to the cleverer. I am pleased with Beauliu; he maneuvers well and is stronger than his predecessor. I will beat him soundly, I hope. Don’t be frightened. Love me like your eyes; but that is not enough: like yourself, more than yourself, than your thoughts, your life, all of you. Forgive me, dear loe, I am raving; Nature is frail when one feels deeply, when one is loved by you…”

Bonaparte

-Napoleon

 

 

” Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.”

 

-Voltaire

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 ” …Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirit…”

“…Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours “

 

-Beethoven

 

 

mom and kev

 

My mom and dad met on 1/ 6/ 86. My mom was 17 and Kevin was 22. Kevin was a bus driver in the city and my mom was riding the bus that day. His badge number was 554 ; little did she know how much that number would come to mean over the years. After his passing, she would see that number show up-on clocks, in random passings, possibly making no sense at all while also making the most sense in the world to her.

They had a December wedding ; my mom loved Christmas and still does. They had 2 daughters and a little brick home in Long Island. My mom was overjoyed to make that home ours and took pride making flea market finds into treasures we would have for many years to come.

The years ahead were not easy. People often said it was like the world was too much for Kevin. When I ask my mom to tell me about my dad, clinging to any semblance of knowing him at all, she tells me that he had particular ways about him. He would obsess over his hair or clothes. He was coping with his own mental health issues, along with his own childhood trauma, and was never supported through that growing up. If you want the perfect example of how much good old fashioned parental love can make or break a person, this is it. Kev struggled with his demons, self medicating along the way, until it got too far ahead of him for him to catch his own breath.

My mom did what was best for us. I was 2, my sister, 3. Unfortunately, the addictive lifestyle Kevin lead was ultimately what lead to his leaving us. The sad part is it was not even the addiction itself that did it, but a senseless act of someone else. My sister remembers more about him than I do and sometimes I stick to the 1 memory I have of him and my mom sitting at a kitchen table, because that is all that I have. I wish I could have known you, but for now I’ll watch you at the kitchen table and find meaning in your number when it calls to me ; 554.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours

When I asked my mom to sum up the day they met for this post, she stated, “I stepped onto the bus on my way to school and fell in love.”

 

A new year’s letter to the universe…

Listening now…

 

 

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Dear last year,

 

You were really good to me. You showed me more of who I am, parts of me that I didn’t even know existed.

You showed me disappointments, in the form of losing houses we fell in love with and a career I thought was a dream. You showed me that you can do everything and anything for someone you work for (or this can be applied to a lot of things in life) but that in the end, sometimes things are just too good to be true for a reason. Sometimes you need to walk away when you realize that being in an environment where your absolute best is never good enough is detrimental to your mental health, happiness, and well being.

This year taught me to run like Forest Gump in those situations. Run at the first sign of a red flag. Your instincts are instilled in you for a reason…use them.

 

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But with these, you lead the way for me to even better paths. You made me aware of a strength I didn’t know I had when it comes to standing up for myself and knowing what I want and deserve.

Within you, 2018, I learned that it’s okay to just….need time. To decompress after these disappointments and disappear for awhile, if you need to.

I learned that “FOMO,” or “fear of missing out” is basically all in your head and I have gotten insanely good at appreciating what I have rather than comparing to others. We all feel bad with social media but I think it’s more about how you look at things. Like, seeing someone go on a beautiful vacation and feeling happy for them and also being like “that’s great and I would love to go there someday too- but after we buy our house! Because I have exciting things coming my way that are more important right now than traveling.” I also know myself well enough now to look at someone’s photos of being out and filtering my own thoughts-like thinking, wait, do I even want to be doing that right now? Actually no, I’m super happy being on my couch watching this movie with wine.

I learned that the hustle is real and you can damn well get anything that you want if you work hard enough. This means you don’t always listen to people who tell you that there’s no way you can travel while you are not working for 2 months (yup and I never did put up my Canada travel post- but I will!) or that you can’t possibly pay your bills through selling on Poshmark?! Watch me, yo.

 

 

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Dear new year,

Hey girl…heyyyyyy.

 

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I have to say, you are starting off with a bang!

 

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Please continue to teach me valuable lessons.

Please bring me a house I love with enough space for a chicken, pygmy goat, and another pupper. (or 2…?)

Please help me with discipline and consistency. This goes with all things: bullet journaling, blogging, Poshmark, gym,yoga, etc. 

Please allow me to finally actually learn the ukulele or guitar. (I see a theme here- again, consistency and discipline?!)

Please help me to continue stepping even further outside of my comfort zone.

 

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November Gratitude

Listening now…

 

 

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The last 2 years I have done my November Gratitude weekly posts. This year has just been a bit crazier and my blog has been a little more sporadic. 😦

The good news is I am busy for amazing reasons and I have (what feels like) more than ever this year to be grateful for!

When considering what we are appreciative for every day, I think it’s important to think about the little and the big things.

 

Gratitude…

 

Small things like noticing the heart in the jam of the cookie you just baked…

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Simple Sundays spent baking with your mama, tidying your room to make it just a bit “cozier” and to prepare yourself to have a peaceful week, and a Saturday night spent in by the fire watching the classic Grinch and My Cousin Vinny (for the very first time!) with puppies snoring on top of you.

 

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Never forgetting to notice the beauty surrounding you

Or where you came from

Or where you have yet to go

 

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Gratitude for life’s seemingly twisted paths that lead you directly to where you are meant to be. 

Speaking of paths, I have so much gratitude for life’s weird ways lately.

 

A favorite guided meditation of mine is anything by Sarah Blondin.

I first found her on my Insight Timer app and have loved her ever since.

In this guided meditation,

She talks about following your inspiration and I can’t even tell you how many times I have listened to this lately. A lot. What I talked about above, these twisted paths of life, she normalizes it and writes it off as just another part of our story.  She emphasizes how important these vast experiences are. In this time in my life, when I have been transitioning a lot to try to find my way, this meditation is extremely comforting for me and I hope it helps you too.

Some words from this meditation that I especially love….

 

” If your inspiration requires you to stretch farther out of your skin than you are used to,

Please…do it.

It if requires you to get on a plane and never look back,

Please…do it.

If it requires you to sit and learn patience,

Please…do it.

If it requires you to quit your job, sell your belongings, move across country, buy a boat, walk up to a stranger, write for no reason, cry for no reason…

Please…do it.

I can’t urge you enough….do it.

 

You will always, without fail, land exactly, divinely…where you are meant to land.” 

 

I am feeling especially grateful lately that I have landed (and worked super hard for!) into a career at Etsy 

 

I have wanted to work somewhere creative for a long time and I feel like for awhile I wasn’t even aware of what I was searching for– but knew it was something more, (this explains all of the random classes I took, lol) and Etsy has all of the things I was missing.

 

 

 

Feeling extremely blessed and hoping they let me stay forever 😉

 

Thank you to my readers who stick by my blog ❤

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons from my Poshmark fall wardrobe

Listening now…

I have been through some life changes since my last blog post… more to come on that later. I will have a lot more time to blog (at least for now) and plan on getting back into the weekly blog swing of things. 

It’s fall! 

 

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My absolute favorite time of the year to blog about all things fashion related. 

Whether it’s a Fall Fashion Inspiration post, a Spooky shoot, I really love doing these. 

This time I thought I would do something a little different. 

While going through my photo shoot photos from the other night, I realized that our clothes can kind of….teach us something. 

 

We wear what we feel and we wear our hearts on our sleeves. 

 

In the mornings, we go through our closets and carefully choose how we want to portray to others that day, we wear Black to certain occasions, our friend tells us “wow, you have a lot of Black clothes!” while going through your closet-while you may have never noticed before. 

We speak as silently, or as loudly, as we want to the world with what we clothe our bodies with. 

 

Here are some lessons from my Poshmark fall wardrobe, which you can find here:

 

Be as humbly yourself as possible, but with attitude.

 

 

It’s perfectly okay to be quiet- if that’s who you are (me.) 

But never, ever, ever let people tell you who you should be, walk all over you, treat you less than you deserve. 

Remain yourself, but know when to step outside of this comfort zone when it comes to protecting your own values. 

Damn straight.

 

Keep it simple.

 

 

This means taking time to sit with yourself and learn patience through your process. 

Wake up in the morning, wipe the sleepy from your eyes and look up at the sun and how it has risen for you ; the way in which it has blessed and given you another minute, another hour, another day. 

For a minute quickly becomes days and months and years and if we don’t take the time to sit with it, really notice it and breathe it in, it will evaporate right before us.

 

And on it goes…keep it simple. 

 

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Daydream as often as you like.

Zara Dreamer Jacket    |  Express Dress ; Vintage boots

Play dress up with your life and try on as many varieties as you like.

Our choices were not meant to be taken so seriously… 

Do your very best and the universe will send rewards and gratification your way.

 

It’s okay to dress like Fiona and Frank from Shameless.

In fact, I encourage it. 

 

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But don’t be too much of a Frank…. #Shameless