20 somethings guide to an indecisive mind

Listening now…

 

 

I am obsessed with Willow Smith right now. And this song especially. Don’t be indecisive about hitting the play button…

 

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It’s time for another 20 somethings guide! This one kind of related to my 20 somethings guide to an anxious mind post.

I feel like the 2 are intertwined here. The world has so many options.  This is great but also terrifying. It can become a cycle of indecisiveness, leading to anxiety, and anxiety leading to indecisiveness. And exhaustion!

 

 

 

I struggle with this a lot lately so I felt the need to write from what I have experienced myself. I am not saying I have overcome this and this may be something that always plagues us as humans, naturally, who crave perfection. So I thought I would create a guide because what else do I do when I am going through something- help others…and pretend to know what I am doing!

 

Start somewhere. 

 

 

Take the first step, through the insecurity and indecision.  “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Take that class even if you are not sure if you want to do that for the rest of your life. Realize that you don’t even have to finish that degree just because you started. Those classes could still contribute to you getting your dream job. It’s okay to change your mind once you are “in” something and move onto something else.  In my opinion, this is way better than sitting around thinking about starting something and remaining stagnant. Growth is moving forward, in spite of your mind shouting “what if’s” at you. Better yet, what if you don’t start? Usually that is a worse outcome in our minds. (And IRL.)

 

Stop being commitment phobic and fearful of making a mistake. 

 

 

While sitting here trying to think about why it may be that we are indecisive, the thought came to my mind that we are afraid to commit and that we are fearful of mistakes. The 2 are also intertwined. Us humans are commitment phobes. What are mistakes, anyway? They translate into life experience….necessary, raw, and real life experience.

 

You can make decisions without being impulsive. 

 

 

What I mean by this is- say you are thinking about exploring a new career but don’t want to leave your good job immediately for something you are unsure about. You can take a class after work or around your schedule to see if it’s something you would like first, before jumping all the way in. You can keep your safety net close by while you explore thing “unsafe” and “scary” new possibility. Also I love the quote, “Don’t make a permanent decision on a temporary feeling. ”

 

Find yourself and you will (hopefully) find your decision

 

 

Journal, volunteer, meditate. Work on yourself and try not to focus on the pressure of this decision so much and through these things, you may end up actually coming to one.

 

Even if the decision ends up ultimately being something different than what you originally decided, you still learned something from it. Those classes you took were not a waste and can be applied elsewhere. That thing you did may have been what you needed to do in that moment at that time.

 

Trust your instinct….Even if the path is not “clear,” trust that it will lead somewhere. 

 
And it does not have to look clear to anyone else, either. As long as you trust that the decision will eventually lead you to where you want to be, that’s all that matters.

 

“I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.”
― Hermann Hesse, Demian. Die Geschichte von Emil Sinclairs Jugend

 

 

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A 20 something’s guide to an anxious mind

Listening now…

[My Discover weekly on Spotify this week was totally on point. ]

 

 

Welcome to another guide for our 20 something confused souls. You can find my other guides here: Guide to adultingGuide: 20 something mythsGuide to housework.

 

I pretend to be an expert and you read on foolishly! [ Kidding, I am a complete expert on this actual topic of anxiety. So, no worries. ]

 

If you are in your 20’s, my  guess is that your mind is like  a constant hamster wheel, squeaking obnoxiously in the middle of the night, when you were just about to hit your deepest sleep, only to be awakened by every thought of every possible scenario imaginable.

 

I’m with you, I hear you. 

 

I’m here to offer you a guide to navigating the hamster wheel mind of being in your 20’s.

 

First of all, is it any wonder we have minds running a mile a minute?! We have to think about: student loans, jobs to pay off those student loans, having jobs that are meaningful and that we like, moving out of our parent’s house, surviving on our own, learning how to cook, clean, pay bills, balance our work lives and our personal lives[ I swear this is a learning process forever]….etc, etc.

 

Here is my guide to:

A 20 something’s anxious mind: 

  • Drown your worries in Netflix, blogging, music-whatever your vice is. [As long as it’s healthy. ]  Honestly, you may not want to hear it, but exercise is great too.

The trick is- you need to distract your mind. Find that hobby that makes all of your worries [or at least most of them] go away. 

For me personally,blogging has been therapeutic for me. More than I ever thought it would be. Also, the gym has been very relaxing too- I learned to look forward to getting my anxieties out while running and working out to music.

  • Remember that most people are as nervous as you and don’t know what they are doing, either.

It’s true.

  • Revel in the fact that you are young, have the world in front of you, and have time to figure it out. Revel in the fact that no time figuring it out is wasted. 

Sure, time is precious. But time learning who we are and becoming who we are I think is a necessary process as a young adult. If not now, when?

  • Also, they say it’s about the journey, not the destination.

Frolic about in the fields,  in your buzzed confusion, while taking in the scenes surrounding you. Notice everything. Realize that you are a small fragment of this world, but a huge part of the lives of those you love and connect with. See that this is what matters most in the scheme of things. 

  • Most of all I think- accept and trust your path and the uniqueness that it brings.

Know that it’s completely okay to drift apart from the “norm” and the anticipated path that many take.

I think a lot of our anxieties in our 20’s come from comparing ourselves to others. We know it’s not heathy, but we subconsciously do it anyway. Remember that a Facebook picture tends to hide the struggles going on beneath the surface- comparing ourselves to others without knowing the true story is just mis-leading.

  • Canceling plans is okay…just don’t make a habit of it.

If you don’t feel like leaving your pajamas and your dog, that’s fine. But if it gets to the point of where it is an unhealthy anxiety-avoidance cycle or you find yourself isolating, that’s when it’s not okay.

 

Do you have any other tips that work for you personally?

Thanks for reading! XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A 20 something’s guide to Adulting

Listening now….pups snoring; wind chimes; wind; peace and quiet….

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Welcome to part 2 of my 20 somethings guides. [Part 1 here]

I hope they prove useful to you- we could all use a little help, no?

 

We are in this together!

adulting

 

Realize that we all do not know what we are doing. Not just you!

You are not the only one who is considering a career change even though you just graduated, struggling with keeping up with your own laundry and wondering how moms do it all, and have about 20 million open tabs in their mind at one time. We’ve all been there, in the wine store, browsing the nice section of reds for a moment, just to not look cheap before we quickly grab our usual big bottle of $10 wine.

Averting your eyes of judgement is half of what we know so well– yeah, we see you.

Watch Girls. 

Honestly, Sex and the City and friends are amazing, but they are not realistic. Girls will show you what it actually is like to be a 20 something today and the how real the struggles are.

Shosh can always most definitely relate to whatever you are going through.

Naps. All day, every day.

 

Oh- wait….. you have a full time job, a gym schedule, and student loans to pay. And sometimes you would like to be social, perhaps. So squeeze a nap in when absolutely necessary/ unable to stand up and function anymore.

As I came home from a day at work including a meeting I was absolutely dreading all day, I realized I was worn out. I literally came home and had to nap.

I napped 2 hours and if it were not for my sister, I may have slept through the night. Welcome to naps as a functioning adult. Sometimes you just need that- and that’s okay.

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Via Etsy Fb page

 

Do as much as you can, but don’t drive yourself crazy.

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You may as well do that thing you have been wanting to do- but the balance is important, too.

If you can make the time to have fun and explore new things while working hard and advancing yourself in some way- whether that be in school, work, or personally- then I think you are doing pretty well.

There are so many options out there for us- the struggle is to not drive ourselves crazy wondering what ifs about all of the choices. It is not humanely possible to do it all.

 

Be kind to yourself.

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It’s so important to remember, yet so easy to forget.

Awhile ago I wrote this- [Being kind to ourselves post]

I think this goes with everything else too- being kind with what we put in our bodies, how we treat them, taking care of our minds, bodies, and spirits in all ways possible. Which is oh so easy to forget when our moods may we down and we had a bad day. We might reach for our favorite food or drink and skip working out- we know what’s good for us but opt out of it most days. I think this is an ongoing day to day process and I’m not sure if the battle ever ends, honestly. But we do our best!
Thanks for reading XOXO 

Do you have any tips on adulting? I can use all the help I can get…

 

A 20 something’s guide to housework

Listening now…


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  1. Start with wine. 

I know, this one’s obvious. But with wine, everything appears cleaner and seems….better. Suddenly, you realize there is not as much work as you originally thought and you’ll be off the hook soon to be free and sit with your bottle, while binge watching whatever it is you’d like.  After all, you earned it!

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2.  Just don’t attempt to fold a fitted sheet. Trust me.

Step 1: Crumple into a ball.

Step 2: Once ball is formed, continue with wine, then get up, brush it off, and find something more meaningful to do with your life than trying to fold a sheet perfectly.

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3.  Do laundry and put into dryer to leave in there for a minimum of 3 days, or whenever you feel like actually folding it and putting it away. 

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Not bad, Spongebob!

4. Only do what is absolutely “necessary.” Febreze is your friend- cover that up for as long as possible. That garbage can still has room in there. Your friends are equally as messy, they don’t care, do you actually care, either?

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Take a nap, watch TV, do something more fulfilling than the housework you’ve been avoiding for weeks! Just be careful not to watch HGTV… it may trigger some feelings on inadequacy. : (

5. Don’t fret. It’ll get done at the absolute last minute when it needs to be done!

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