Love and some verses

Listening now…

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

My first blog on Tumblr (and first blog ever) was called Love and some verses, named after the infamous Iron and Wine album. I still love this band so very much and listen to them just to calm myself down. They just have that effect on me and their lyrics give me goosebumps.

 

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Love is a dress that you made

Long to hide your knees

Love to say this to your face

I love you only

For your days and excitement

What will you keep for to wear?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

Love and some verses you hear

Say what you can say

Love to say this in your ear

I’ll love you that way

From your changing contentment

What will you choose for to share?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

 
 

I never kept up with it, of course, but I still loved the name and think about it from time to time.

Thinking about that little blog tonight, I got inspired to write.

To be honest with you readers, I have not been very inspired to blog lately.

I’m not sure why that is…but when I am not feeling it, I’m just not going to force it. Those posts always come off as insincere and scripted to me. I write from the heart- always have and always will.

 

 

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to share love and some verses with you all in this post.

I wrote about the book Carrie read in the Sex and the City movie “Love letters of Great men” in my Valentine post.  (Honestly this post makes me cringe and I need to fix it because this was clearly before I learned the important of centering text…)

I will be sharing some of these verses of love with you from this book.

 

Love and some verses…

 

” I love you. That is all I know. But all I know, too, is that I am writing into space: the kind of dreadful, unknown space I am just going to enter. I am going to Iowa, Illinois, Idaho, Indindiana, but these, though mis-spelt, *are* on the map. You are not. ”

-Dylan Thomas

 

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I am restless; and a man’s restlessness always means a woman; and my restlessness means Ellen. ”

 

-Unknown

 

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“ Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you.  How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been!  How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm.  But I cannot.  I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.”

 

                                                         

-Unknown

 
 
 

 

December 1795

” I awake full of you. Your image and the intoxication of last night give my senses no rest.

Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart. Are you angry? Do I see you sad? Are you worried? My soul breaks with grief, and there is no rest for your lover; but how much the more when I yield to this passion that rules me and drink a burning flame from your lips and your heart? Oh! This night has shown me that your portrait is not you!

You leave at midday; in three hours I shall see you.

Meanwhile, my sweet love, a thousand kisses; but do not give me any, for they set my blood on fire. “

-Napoleon

 

 

” …I am at Port Maurice, near Ognelia; tomorrow I reach Albenga. The two armies are moving, trying to outwit each other. Victory to the cleverer. I am pleased with Beauliu; he maneuvers well and is stronger than his predecessor. I will beat him soundly, I hope. Don’t be frightened. Love me like your eyes; but that is not enough: like yourself, more than yourself, than your thoughts, your life, all of you. Forgive me, dear loe, I am raving; Nature is frail when one feels deeply, when one is loved by you…”

Bonaparte

-Napoleon

 

 

” Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.”

 

-Voltaire

kiss

 

 

 ” …Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirit…”

“…Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours “

 

-Beethoven

 

 

mom and kev

 

My mom and dad met on 1/ 6/ 86. My mom was 17 and Kevin was 22. Kevin was a bus driver in the city and my mom was riding the bus that day. His badge number was 554 ; little did she know how much that number would come to mean over the years. After his passing, she would see that number show up-on clocks, in random passings, possibly making no sense at all while also making the most sense in the world to her.

They had a December wedding ; my mom loved Christmas and still does. They had 2 daughters and a little brick home in Long Island. My mom was overjoyed to make that home ours and took pride making flea market finds into treasures we would have for many years to come.

The years ahead were not easy. People often said it was like the world was too much for Kevin. When I ask my mom to tell me about my dad, clinging to any semblance of knowing him at all, she tells me that he had particular ways about him. He would obsess over his hair or clothes. He was coping with his own mental health issues, along with his own childhood trauma, and was never supported through that growing up. If you want the perfect example of how much good old fashioned parental love can make or break a person, this is it. Kev struggled with his demons, self medicating along the way, until it got too far ahead of him for him to catch his own breath.

My mom did what was best for us. I was 2, my sister, 3. Unfortunately, the addictive lifestyle Kevin lead was ultimately what lead to his leaving us. The sad part is it was not even the addiction itself that did it, but a senseless act of someone else. My sister remembers more about him than I do and sometimes I stick to the 1 memory I have of him and my mom sitting at a kitchen table, because that is all that I have. I wish I could have known you, but for now I’ll watch you at the kitchen table and find meaning in your number when it calls to me ; 554.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours

When I asked my mom to sum up the day they met for this post, she stated, “I stepped onto the bus on my way to school and fell in love.”

 

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Why I love being an Introvert

Listening now…

(Listen while you read, please.  🙂 I pick songs based on my feelings while I write….P.S….Introverts have good taste in music.)

 

 

Remember awhile back, when I wrote my Letter from your introverted [hermit] friend post?

 

I started talking about introversion because I feel like it so important for people like me, who love being alone and actually re-charge their energy from that, to embrace it and know that not only is it okay, it’s actually really cool. 

 

I wasn’t always like this. I used to think I was strange for often preferring to stay home, while everyone else was going out.

 

If you don’t know what an Introvert is, it is basically someone who turns inward mentally (we also tend to overthink a lot) and get their energy back from spending time alone. 

 

 

It was not until recently that I started thinking about all of the benefits and the things I have learned about myself from being an introvert.

While I think part of this is ingrained in my personality at birth, I think I really started enjoying time alone when I started gaming.

Growing up, my mom was in a band and worked late gigs on the weekends and I would often spend most of my Saturdays and Sundays playing Sims to keep busy (back when it first came out 17 years ago!)

I would get so engulfed in the game and could get lost in hours of gameplay- I still do!

 

 

If you are an introvert like me, or even if you are not, maybe you can look into yourself too and see what this personality trait has really done for you! If you struggle with being alone, I really encourage you to begin to get comfortable with it. It will teach you a lot about yourself and who are you.

 

Why I love being an Introvert:

 

1.) Alone time helped me discover who I am.

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I know what I like and don’t like, I have found and developed more hobbies than I can even keep up with (lol) and through these hobbies, I feel more truly myself. When you find what you love and do more of that, everything just feels more sincerely you. 

I think it is an amazing life skill to have to be comfortable and accept your own presence. I frequent my favorite place on earth very often during the summer, the lake! With just myself and my dog Daisy. I used to feel awkward and like people were looking at me- now I read my book, play in the water, and bask in the sunshine and the glory of not caring about any of that anymore and enjoying my time.

Be proud to have plans with just you!

After all, this blog probably wouldn’t exist if I was not alone as much.

 

2.) I have found my creative side.

I used to think being creative meant you were “good” at art- I can draw no more than a stick figure and used to think because I did not have an artsy side, I was not creative. Through growing up and finding myself,  I have realized that art is much more than painting and drawing and my kind of art is planning, fashion, photography, and putting words, pictures, and music together in this here little blog space. Building awesome houses and decorating them stunningly on The Sims counts too, right?

 

 

3.) Who needs people when you have dogs (best friends), anyway?

Does this one even need explanation?…….

The more time out with people, the more time away from my dogs!

Both my babies are introverts too, so this works out for us really well.

 

squish-and-me

Relaxing…

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When we are not relaxing in bed, we are probably out eating…

4.) I never get bored.

My mom always told us when we were little if we whined of boredom, “only boring people get bored.”

She is right. And I have always remembered this. And through my introversion and alone time, I always value it and use it wisely to do what I can’t when I am around other people!